Meh, I hate daylight savings time. When I get out of rehearsals, it's pitch black outside. Super-meh. How about I entertain you all with amusing quotes?

You can fool robotic mooses and attract them into charging your computer! --Mr. Taylor

Mr. Loh! Come see the hormone-injected Asian pear! --Mackenzie

Mr. Taylor: How'd you do that?
Mr. Loh: I just pressed the button that said "not so bright".
Mr. Taylor: I have some students with that problem.

Theoretical physics is just the study of neat ways to die. --Rachel B.

Mr. Taylor (being ironic): As far as we know, the Earth is the center to the universe.
Me: Woo-hoo!
Mr. Taylor: Priscilla evidently thinks she's the center to the universe...

There is no fear of heights. It's the fear of rapidly changing heights that bothers people. --Mr. Taylor

Mr. Taylor: What's the most important discovery in the entire world?
Me: Me!

I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags. --Gwenyth Paltrow

Jo: What's the best way to cut piano wire?
Caro: An act of God.

I am the sea monkey of your heart! --Marcelina

"Nightly Hamburger Profit" would make a great band name. --Me, in Calculus class

Mr. Dubsky: Rules, rules, rules! What did Shakespeare say?
Everyone: Words, words, words!
Chungy: We should do Shakespeare math!
Me: And thou doth take the derivative, and thou shalt equal it to zero...

Mr. Dubsky: Are monkeys right-handed or left-handed?
Jennifer and Kristen: They're ambidextrous!
Me: "Ambidextrous Monkeys" would make a great name for a rock band, too.

Mr. Dubsky: The only thing we have to fear is fear itsself.
Mr: I think the only thing we have to fear is biological warfare.

Sorry I'm late, I had to save the world. --Me, after arriving 5 minutes late to class as a result of restoring the entirety of tnm.n after it went bye-bye.

But I thought you could speak Jewish! --Jennifer. She meant "Hebrew".

Girls, this is crunch time! Stop hugging! --Mr. Gans, during a much-needed JETS group hug session

If the strength of gravity is based on mass, then if I go out and gain a lot of weight, will guys be more attracted to me? --Me

It makes protons shake. This is a big, hairy electron. This is an electron you do not want to meet in a dark alley. --Mr. Taylor, tau

This word... looks like a cow. It symbolizes the bovine feeling of looove. --Chungy, describing Latin translations

Wait! We're smart! We can solve this! We have capable Asian girls here! --Mr. Gans

Someone: Wait... the grades are determined by a Gaussian curve?
Mr. Taylor: No, the grades are determined by me.

You see, I'd be a smart homeless person. --Margaret

Mackenzie's a nut, I am a pluck. --Mr. Loh doing Engineering demonstrations


I hope this somehow improved your otherwise dull and lifeless afternoon.