We had to write speeches for English class, declaring our independence from whatever we wanted. I was highly amused by my speech. I'm sure you will be, too.

All around you today, you see your fellow students vehemently asserting their independence from oppressive and unjust forces. I have come to declare my freedom from something entirely different. I stand before you, prepared to throw off all ties with one of the most cruel, tyrannical, and burdensome entities I know of: myself. My inner critic is singly responsible for lowering my self-esteem, disparaging my creative works, and drastically lowering my self-image. You may dismiss this as ridiculous, but think of what you would gain by overthrowing the bonds created by the darker side of yourself. What freedom, to be able to write freely, unbounded by a censor belittling every sentence. What liberation, to be able to leave the house unconcerned with how you look, even in a huge T-shirt and baggy sweatpants. What independence, to be able to draw or paint or sculpt without that little nagging voice targeting and criticizing all the flaws.

While some may not be as aware of its presence, virtually all teens can be victims of overly harsh inner critics, especially teenage girls. While I am fortunate enough to be blessed with the ability to ignore any form of fashion criticism, which plagues the vast majority of my female brethren, I am still constantly inundated with mental irritation over the results of my artistic endeavors. No matter what my parents and friends say to laud my efforts, my inner critic is never satisfied with the outcome. I feel the same way about my writing. Of course, this may be because I'm just not a very good writer, but maybe that's just my inner critic talking. That would make this yet another reason why I must declare my independence from my inner critic NOW. After all, where would Odysseus be if his inner critic persuaded him into believing that a giant wooden horse could not possibly fool the Trojans, or if Luke convinced himself that he just wasn't Jedi material. What if Jesus himself thought, "Who am I kidding? I can't turn water into wine!" Where would the world be then?

I therefore urge you to support me in my quest for internal liberation. Only we can decide how long we will put up with being forced to continuously combat such excessive negativity. Isn't it time to look upon the world with a more positive outlook? Patrick Henry ended a historic speech to the Virginia Convention with the rallying cry, "Give me liberty or give me death". I say, we've been slaves to our inner critics long enough. I'm with you, Patrick.

Note: if anyone tries to plagiarize this or sell it to some slacker's resource, I will hunt you down. Muah.