This is a story of good vs. evil, with evil being all-powerful and good being generally 3 feet tall with hairy feet.

...and some kid named Biggerstaff. Nice name, Biggerstaff, no pressure or anything.

Next shot is some ship flying across a desert world, most likely Tatooine. Now I don't know about you, but I am damn tired of that puny little sand dune of a world. It was the most boring planet in the first Star Wars, it hasn't gotten better with age.

Now would be a good time to check up on all the amusing Self-Made Critic articles you've been missing.