Human Virus Scanner!

Viruses you suffer from:

Pokemon
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!

TotL
Go read Brunching

Junkfood
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

Religion
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)

Japan
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.

Sci-fi
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

Politics
Stop caring!

Brand Names
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.

Hippyism
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.

Environmentalism
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Viruses you might suffer from:

Linux (95%)
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.

USA (70%)
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]

Industrial (70%)
Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.

Discordia (70%)
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.

Free BSD (95%)
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.

X11 (60%)
I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.

Conspiracy Theory (75%)
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.

Macintosh (80%)
Use a mouse with more than one button.