Dear Disney,

You cannot fathom my wrath. This project will be dropped immediately. You are not cool and we are not pleased and this is the evidence. Get your act together and don't mess with my favourite book.

(Unless, of course, you throw us a complete curve ball and actually manage to produce an enjoyable film. You gave us PotC after all, though that was entirely due to the Midas touch of Johnny Depp.)

Wrathfully,
Priscilla