*snorks madly* From my inbox, to be filed under "what the gravy?!?":

do you mean by upsetting this foreign tourist? You'll have the police after you! ' The dubious professor put on a haughty look, turned and walked away from Ivan, who felt himself beginning to lose his head. Gasping, he turned to the choirmaster : 'Hey, you, help me arrest this criminal! It's your duty! ' The choirmaster leaped eagerly to his feet and bawled : 'What criminal? Where is he? A foreign criminal? ' His eyes lit up joyfully. ' That man? If he's a criminal the first thing to do is to shout " Stop thief! " Otherwise he'll get away. Come on, let's shout together! ' And the choirmaster opened his mouth wide. The stupefied Ivan obeyed and shouted ' Stop thief! ' but the choirmaster fooled him by not making a sound. Ivan's lonely, hoarse cry was worse than useless. A couple of girls dodged him and he heard them say ' . .. drunk.' 'So you're in league with him, are you? ' shouted Ivan, helpless with anger. ' Make fun of me, would you? Out of my way!' Ivan set off towards his right and the choirmaster did the opposite, blocking his way. Ivan moved leftward, the other to his right and the oostsssor h s g sl snsosushun stsm sps ksg ofsrpu p r sdjksdfsdfsdlgkj sdflkjsdf lksdjfsdfsdf

In other, more coherent news, I didn't make the Kevin Smith lottery. Fortunately, tomorrow morning, they'll have a limited number of seats available first come, first served. I plan to be there early.