More heroes! Hannah from the Cassie and Rhysenn egroup shares with us a hilarious poem about canon Malfoy’s reaction to fanon Malfoy. Hilarity ensues. I thought you HP fanfic fans would appreciate this.

When Draco Met … Draco. (by Hannah Roderick)

My name is Draco Malfoy

And I’m Harry Potter’s foe.

We aren’t pals and we don’t get on

As readers worldwide know.

Yet one day not so long ago

I got onto the net,

And shockingly I found a fic

In which I wasn’t het!

Rhysenn’s Irresistible Poison

Had me making the wrong potion.

She pairs me up with Potter –

A quite terrifying notion.

Next thing I’m dressed in wellies,

A red coat, no underwear –

And once again I’m snogging Potter,

She’s scaring me, I swear!

Now let’s move on to somebody

Who’s also mad ’bout me.

She calls herself Cassandra Claire

And made me snog Ginny.

I thought Gin fancied Harry

But Cassie’s paired him up with Herm.

So by default I’m her love interest –

Possibly long-term.

Well, at least I needn’t kiss *him*

Which is rather a relief,

Even though Cassandra’s me

Has turned over a new leaf.

Now let’s get this straight, girlies,

I’m not nice somewhere inside.

This Draco’s deeply sinister

I’m King of the Slytherin pride.

I don’t wear leather trousers

(no, not even on weekends)

I’m damned if Granger’s pretty,

I’m not one of Potter’s friends.

I’ve never harboured lusty thoughts

About any other male,

Except of course for Severus Snape,

But that’s another tale …

::round of applause for Hannah::