Coming home from lunch, I was struck by a very strange notion. My two most schnoogleworthy favourite male fictional characters are remarkably similar. I submit for your approval, Carrot and Kurt.

First, their names are one syllable apart.

Second, they both grew up speaking very gutteral languages.

Carrot: Looks innocent, but is actually quite pervy and shrewd.

Kurt: Looks innocent, but is quite the Cassanova in the comics.

Carrot: Looks shorter than he actually is due to perpetual stoop.

Kurt: Looks shorter than he actually is due to perpetual stoop.

Carrot: Has a quasi-girlfriend with ash-blond hair.

Kurt: Flirts shamelessly with a girl with white-blond hair.

Carrot: Posesses distinctive crown-shaped birthmark.

Kurt: Posesses distinctive angelic symbol scars.

Carrot: Can run so fast he blurs.

Kurt: Can teleport.

Carrot: Is quite buff from growing up as a dwarf in a mine.

Kurt: Is quite buff from growing up as an acrobat in a circus.

Carrot: Occasionally saves Ankh-Morpork with his friends, a band of plucky Watchmen.

Kurt: Occasionally saves the world with his friends, a band of plucky X-Men.

(And their cigar-smoking acquaintances would kill anyone that called them “plucky.”)

And there you have it. Now I’m going to go off and eat my salad and half-sandwich and jump at small noises.