Link ganked from Jo:
CITIZENS FOR A HAYDEN-FREE ROTJ: BE HEARD!
That’s another thing I love about Joss Whedon. We don’t have to worry about a Serenity: Special Edition coming out in 20 years, in which the scene in the trailer suddenly goes like:
Operative: I want to resolve this like civilized men. I’m not threatening you. Though I’m in fact, not unarmed! *pulls a pistol and shoots at Mal, who barely even has to move his head to dodge, despite being four feet away, at point-blank range*
Mal: Good. Now I feel morally justified in shooting at you. Despite being a smuggler, unconcerned with matters of legality and obviously savvy enough to fit in at the Maidenhead Cantina, I must make it clear to my fans that I would only ever consider harming another if they shot at me first, regardless of the danger to myself and my crew in a given situation and regardless of how they had threatened or hurt me in the past. *shoots, feeling morally righteous*
Maybe Joss could add a troupe of singing and dancing CGI aliens to add color to River’s barfight scene, replace the Force-ghosts of the 40-odd cowhands that helped rear Mal back on Shadow with Hayden Christensen, replace all shots of Niska with Ian McDiarmid, and replace all English text with Chinese. Then a giant CG Badger1 could confront Mal on his way out of a bar on Persephone, and then the Mudders singing “The Hero of Canton” could be replaced by a lot of boring images of various Canton residents celebrating. And then rerelease it all IN 3D.
*clutches original Star Wars theatrical release VHS box-set*
Wow, Bitter McBitterson came out to play this morning.
Don’t mess with a materpiece, Lucas. It’s like Leonardo coming back a few years after painting the Mona Lisa to make her smile more obvious, because it was only subtly done the first time. Give us our original theatrical release on DVD!
1 Of course, I meant the character Badger, as played by Mark A Sheppard, but whenever I read that line now, I see Mal being menaced by massive “badgers badgers badgers mushroom mushroom”-or-Monty Python-esque carnivorous burrowing mammals of the family Mustelidae. Which I have to admit would be awesome. I would pay to see Mal being menaced by a giant badger.