HOLY COW. DOLORES UMBRIDGE WORKS AT FRESH GROCER, AND HER NAME IS KATHLEEN.

I wish I’d had my camera with me, so that I could discreetly take a picture. She was maybe 5 feet tall, with short, thinning, curly, mousy-brown hair. Her back was curved. She had an enormous flap/pouch/goiter/whatever of skin on her neck (the size of her head) and her lower lip jutted out, making her look like a bullfrog. I kept expecting her to turn to me, smile, and say “Hem hem.” Totally surreal.