Why are all my dreams demented? I dreamed that the kids that play Harry, Ron, and the Weasley twins were all children of Stephen Colbert, and I was trying to catch the eye of another of his sons that looked like a mini version of Will Bailey on West Wing.

A few nights ago, I dreamed I was Jack Sparrow and I wanted to make myself a salad, but then a bunch of people joined me, so I gave my salad to an old lady, then made salad for all the other women present, then everyone else, and by the time I was able to make my own salad, Barbossa and his gang came around and started acting all intimidating, so I gave Barbossa my salad and ran away.

Part of my Book 7 dream centered around horcruxes that reflected each of Harry’s 7 Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers. Lockhart corresponded to a flamboyantly gay dance instructor Voldemort once had, as he had a passion for musical theatre (and a crush on McGonagall).

My brain is a scary place to live.