They kept me for 2 1/2 hours. During that time, I was swabbed, stabbed repeatedly, and asked to urinate. I have a slight fever (99.0), but I definitely don’t have strep, anemia, or low blood sugar, and they dismissed the e-coli theory. I’ll find out about the mono test Wednesday. They also gave me an antibiotic cream to put on my infected ear.

In the meantime, I admire the fashionable band-aids on my three stuck fingers and my inner arm. The nurses had just gotten in some new finger pricking devices and a new Rapid Mono test (which they were using alongside the conventional Mono blood test to see if they were accurate enough for general use), and I got to be the first guinea pig for them both. For the first fingerstick, the nurse didn’t stick me hard enough, and by the time she was ready for the second test, she wasn’t able to get enough blood. Then there came finger stick #2. Then I sat around and waited for the results of those tests, and when they came up negative, they had to test me for mono. Finger stick #3, and also vein blood draw. Of course, because the Rapid Mono test was so new, the nurses ended up going through three of them on me because they were never sure if they had enough blood. Eventually, rather than prick a fourth finger, they dripped some of the blood they drew from the vein on the tester. And it turns out none of them even worked. The poor nurses were so sweet about it and kept apologizing, and I laughed along with them to let them know I didn’t blame them and there were no hard feelings.

On the upside, the strange and interesting new plant in the nurse’s office is looking significantly bigger and more robust than when I first came in.

I’m feeling or or less fine now, barring a sore throat, a light cough, and a runny nose. I bought enough Vitamin C drops and supplements to keep the entire cast of Pirates of the Caribbean antiscurvylicious for at least a decade. Now we just have to get Ko well again, so she doesn’t give me anything else! *hearts*