You are a human hair wig. You are porous. BLEACH LIKE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO.

The strongest bleach at the store has been on the wig for over four hours when it’s only supposed to take like 45 minutes to get a dramatic change, and AAAARG why didn’t I buy the blond wig even though I didn’t like the cut, because at least then I know I could have dyed it properly and I’d end up with the appropriately Molly-esque cotton candy pink and blue colors instead of the mud I’m probably going to end up with now?

At least the weird bleach stains on my forearms where the gloves ended seem to have gone away.