Sam! You are EVIL and unfit to bear my children! Once you get into the mindset, these Quidditch-as-a-metaphor-for-sex references just don’t stop, do they? Looking up stuff for WIAN, I see that “bludger” is Australian slang for a pimp. And reading to my parents, I was amused to note that on James’ exam paper, he chooses to draw Lily’s initials and a golden snitch. And Alicey and I concur that the phrase “Apparently it is for an incredibly wet Quidditch game” from a TLC article is wrong, wrong, wrong.

Gah, am I ever going to stop thinking in these terms? Probably not. CURSE YOU, SAM! CURSE YOU TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL! May you be forced to read every single one of the “Fics with ‘Veil’ in the Title” you’ve been collecting.