LOTR Character: Samwise Gamgee! I am Samwsie Gamgee the Hobbit. I’m quite happy to have a crappy part following Elijah Wood’s arse around the set for fifteen months and fetching everyone’s coffee.

LOTR Species: Elf! I am an Elf, like Legolas or Arwen. I prance around in forests and am at one with nature. I also have malformed ears and people give me funny looks.

LOTR Place: Rivendell! I would stay in Rivendell where I would hide away from the rest of the world and often attack visitors and relatives with mighty floods in the shape of horses, or at least computer graphics. But everyone would like me anyway (naturally) because I have good taste in decorating.

LOTR Actor: Sir Ian McKellen! I am Sir Ian McKellen, and everybody BETTER remember it! I prance around for most of the film in a stupid hat, much like my last movie blockbuster, although the hat is now slightly better.