In the past 26 hours, I have resolved all of my life’s immediate woes, including woes I did not have 26 hours ago!
Last night, I planned to meet a Potential Roommate named Marina from Russia, who was coming to NY for a two-month internship. This would be perfect for me, as it would free up the room in time for the influx of students to NY in September, and I would be much more likely to find someone.
When she arrived in my apartment, however, she was shocked to see that “bedroom” did not mean “a room with a bed in it.” While her English is great, she did not know the meaning of the word “unfurnished.” So she was stuck in an unfamiliar country with unfamiliar people, and her only housing option had just proved to be completely unlike what she was expecting. She had booked a hotel for Saturday and Sunday nights, but if she didn’t stay with me, she was going to have to start again from scratch, finding a place to stay at the very last minute. Because I am not heartless, I decided to follow the words of the great Tim Gunn and Make It Work.
As luck would have it, I had been shopping around on Craigslist for a new futon for the common room to replace the one my previous roommate took. I told her it could go in her room, and then I could move it to the common room when she moved out. Problem solved! I just needed to find the right futon.
After exhaustive research, I made contact with three likely candidates, scheduling them around a production of “Coraline: The Musical” at 3. The first one (the only one before the show) I really liked. It was also cheapest of the lot, and would look the best in the common room. Because I absolutely needed a futon by tomorrow night, I bought it and scheduled a mover for later in the evening. Unfortunately, I realized that my cell phone was perilously low on batteries! This could greatly complicate the move. Still, I treated myself to a delicious, leisurely lunch before the show, content in the knowledge that come hell or high water, Marina would at least have a place to sleep on Monday.
The show was awesome. It was bizarre in a way only a collaboration between Neil Gaiman and Stephin Merritt can be, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I was particularly delighted by the Cat, who stole every minute of the show he was onstage. And during the show, it occurred to me that there was an Apple store not seven blocks away! Another problem solved! Afterward, I stopped by the store and discreetly stuck my phone on their charger, as I checked my email on one of their swanky new MacBook Pros.
Then, it was on to the other two options! I decided that I really wanted to get two futons: one for the common room and one for Marina’s room, and I could stick the surplus futon in my room or resell it on Craigslist when she moved out. Or maybe the next girl could use it. Whatever works! Both options were in the Upper East Side, thankfully, only about 10 blocks from each other. Sweeeet. The second futon was pretty nice, but I fell in wild, passionate futon-monkey-love for the third. The mattress was of a decadent quality one does not traditionally associate with futons.
Anyway. I called the mover around 6:30 to add the additional stop to the itinerary (the move was scheduled to start at 8), but I got the answering machine. I chilled at the third place as I waited for the pieces to click into place, helping the young couple decide where to put stuff in their new apartment, but the movers never called me back.
Finally, I called the first guy (Mario) and filled him in on what was happening. He was cool about it, and he agreed to help the mover (Jeremy) load the futon into the truck, while I waited at the other location. Yay, Mario! It went off without a hitch. Afterward, Jeremy drove to my location, and we loaded the second futon into the truck in an engineering feat that would make Richard Feynman swoon.
Then, we were off to my apartment! But alas, some scallywag had made off with the doorstop, so I was going to have to juggle half of a futon as I unlocked the door. Doom! Fortunately, God can be pretty darn literal when she has a mind to be, and we were greeted near the door by four Mormon missionaries, who were headquartered in my building! They helped us into the building and into the elevator, then even toted the second futon to my room as Jeremy, Mormon #1, and I wrestled with getting the first into Marina’s bedroom.
Then finally, all was done! Life was won, and it was won by me.
…and as I was finishing this post, I just got another hit on my Craisglist ad for the stint starting in September. The I looked up and happened to see a lovely, perfectly full moon shining down at me in my seat on my new futon, appearing smack-dab in the center of my window. I’m not sure which Karma Policeman accidentally mixed up my file with that of a baby-saving fireman or humanitarian aid worker, but I’m grateful for the clerical error nonetheless!
